Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Dear God, Please Let This Be the Most Genius Plan Ever

I am many things. Skinny is not one of them.

And while we are on the subject of things that I am not, let me quickly also say that I am also not a writer nor a comedian so I would like to apologize in advance for any horrific grammar mistakes, rambling (what I am most famous for), lame jokes, and boring stories! I am also not a blog person...don't read 'em and I have never written one. I have stolen the idea to blog about my life from my sister. She has a fantastic blog about nothing, and I figure if she can write a funny blog about absolutely nothing, then I can write one about something lots of people struggle with...having stretch marks and a fat ass and what seems like the never ending journey to eliminate them forever.

oh wait, so duh, you probably are curious as to who I am and why I feel the deep need to blog about how fat I am! Well, without going into too much detail...

Name: The Fat One
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Job: Successful business woman (yep, even fat girls can rock a business suit successfully)
Weight: 294.8lbs (just got off the scale and the first time I have ever told anyone my weight, oye!)
Height: 5'7
Shoe Collection: Fabulous!
Relationship status: single, but in all fairness it is because I just moved and ended my last relationship
Location: NYC

That's all I can think of... like I said... I AM NOT A WRITER! I can't use up all my good stuff on my first blog. Tune in daily for more :-)

Just for the record...

I see this as either the most pathetic moment in my life, or the most genius idea I have ever had.